April 9, 2022 | Chris Paul on SubStack
Part One: Those Wacky QAnons
Since the infamous “Q” first posted on an anonymous and uncensored message board on October 28th, 2017, in the weeks following the still-unexplained Las Vegas Massacre, the media has been covering the ‘Q’ information phenomenon, or at least that’s what they purport to be doing.
The Vegas massacre, we’re told, was the deadliest mass shooting in US history. It was a media story for a few days, but apparently not worth more interest than the propagandizing of a suitable patsy and a ‘ban on bump stocks’. “QAnon”, on the other hand has warranted thousands of articles and near daily coverage by mainstream outlets despite not being a real thing.
We all know of the very dangerous “QAnon”, the disparate and unorganized group of various -ists and -phobes who cause all the problems in America today. They are in a cult, as the story goes, whose central tenet is that they believe the completely absurd claim that the world is run by a group of corrupt and compromised, wealthy and well-connected people who sit somewhere above the law while anyone who doesn’t constantly pledge to advance their cause is systematically destroyed.
It’s such a ridiculous idea - not only isn’t it happening, it cannot happen.
In the QAnon’s anger toward their betters, their bitterness, and their bigotry, these dupes believe these corrupt leaders possess an infinite capacity for evil. Loonier yet, these supposedly evil and corrupt leaders carry out these crimes against humanity while convincing the world they are actually doing good. They play this trick so well that a society replicates the trick, ever able to rationalize evil, no matter how heinous or pernicious, in society first, and then in their personal lives.
How many lies, in a given day, do people convince themselves are true? You’d have to be crazy to think the world works this way, and those unhinged QAnons really believe it!
The pursuit of wealth, power, and social status above all else is the root of all evil. The world’s wealthiest, most powerful, and most high-status people and organizations pursue these goals relentlessly, at the expense of entire countries. They do it in coordinated fashion to achieve one common goal – global domination under their control. One evil force that convinces humans to submit to its power by enticing them with possessions, control, and fame. Does that sound like Satan? Does it sound like Satan-ism? I’m not a religious scholar, so I don’t know, but I guess that’s what those wacky QAnons believe.
The corrupt, evil, Satanists (according to QAnons) are involved in crimes against humanity so abhorrent that one would never believe them possible, if one were not to witness these crimes for themselves. QAnons accuse the corrupt leaders of acts so truly evil that such crimes could never be carried out by anyone, therefore they are impossible and do not happen.
Terrorism, biological warfare, psychological warfare, drug trafficking, human trafficking, child sex trafficking, spying, tracking, modern slavery, active concentration camps, intentional medical malpractice, mass censorship and propaganda, false flags, wars of choice and convenience, child torture and sexual abuse, ritual worship of the material world, the reimagining of the Elite self as a God of this realm, and the quest for immortality.
These things are not real.
Crazy, right? None of these things happen. They never have. Never in history.
Because none of these things have ever happened, anywhere, ever, it’s easy to understand why very smart people would be inclined to believe they can never happen. Sure, stories about all of the above crimes against humanity could be found in the news of the past week, but it’s so difficult to trust stories about reality if the TV does not also agree. If it was important, surely, the television would let everyone know.
But hey, we all know how nutty those lousy QAnons are! They believe all of those hideous crimes happen in the real world and the people most responsible never get punished! Crazy!
It’s important when thinking of those filthy QAnons to remember that you don’t personally know any of them because you don’t want to know any of them. You would never let them be around you! They would immediately try to poison your mind and make you think the same things all QAnons think!
Those people are all the same, right? Wait, no, that’s for the blacks, thinks a Biden voter, before getting angry and Googling things in zher phone until the anger goes away.
These QAnons, addled as they are, think there are evil people in the world - some of them American public officials, corporate executives, media figures, and celebrities - who carry out their evil in a quest for global domination and eternal life. It’s nuts!
Never in world history has anyone longed for global domination under a singular rule and never has anyone wanted to live forever, even just to see what it would be like! Honestly, how could any intelligent person believe any of it?
None of it could ever happen, therefore none of it ever has. Certainly not by George Soros, who helped the Nazis load his neighbors onto the trains (which he admitted on 60 Minutes, of all places). George Soros would not do something evil, he’s a philanthropist, like Bill Gates, who also could not be evil because computers. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama could not have spied on Donald Trump. How dare you even say that about the first black president and the first woman president (if not for Russia)?
So QAnons are probably stupid and uneducated. All the very smart people agree that evil, as described, cannot exist, therefore it does not exist. They seem to believe this to be true at all times, except when you ask them. They’re aware that the evil does exist, occasionally. They will admit that evil acts exist. Depending on how depraved or detached from reality they are, they will shift to rationalizing that the evil is either rare or cannot affect them.
But you have to understand Genghis Khan was a QAnon. Jeffrey Dahmer and Charles Manson were QAnons. Hitler was a QAnon and surely would’ve hated George Soros (because Hitler is anti-Semitic and insulting George Soros is anti-Semitic) even though Soros helped the Nazis load Jews onto the trains. But then again, he is a philanthropist, which makes up for it. Hitler is a QAnon and Soros is a philanthropist. The men who carried out the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment were those nasty QAnons, too. (You can tell because all QAnons are racist.)
I said that QAnon is not a real thing, and it is not. Q was the source of 4,953 messages appearing on anonymous message boards. Because the boards were anonymous, the members of the boards are referred to as ‘Anons’. Anons relentlessly research topics and spread what they find. The information is analyzed and passed on, or it is refuted in a true free market of information. There is no “QAnon”.
“Is Q real?” is a silly question. “Do you believe in Q?” is similarly silly.
Q certainly exists. Very few people would say they’re certain of what it is or who’s involved, which implies a healthy skepticism as a core principle, not some severe lack of brain capacity.
Many of Q’s messages were cryptic. Many simply asked questions. There were memes and links and virtual pep-talks. Q also interacted with the members of the ever-expanding community that sprung up around the Q phenomenon. That community grew as the “Q” community branched out and merged with the broader truth community to varying degrees. That broader collection of truthseekers has replaced the mainstream as the source for society-wide information and consensus building. Q is not a fringe, it’s a surprisingly coherent belief system held by people who are informed by some combination of their faith and their observations of the world around them. There are still those in the truth community who think Q is stupid, for sure, though none of them bothered to find out for themselves.
Because the boards were anonymous, the people doing the research are referred to as ‘Anons’.
There is no “QAnon”. The media created a set of beliefs and named it “QAnon”. Everything that contradicts the media narrative becomes something believed by the people who believe in “QAnon”.
Since “QAnon” is crazy, and it’s believed by crazy people, anything that contradicts the narrative is believed by the bad people. Good, smart people know that’s enough information to make a sound judgment.
Q’s last post was on December 8th, 2020. It was a YouTube link to Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It”. That’s all. It had been nearly a month since Q’s prior post that simply said, “Durham.” No one in the media knows what the message could’ve possibly meant because it’s so cryptic. Surely, it couldn’t mean “John Durham”, the man currently investigating the Trump-Russia collusion hoax where Hillary Clinton’s campaign spied on Donald Trump with the knowledge of both halves of the Obama-Biden administration, the CIA, the FBI, foreign leaders, and foreign intelligence services, could it?
Surely not, because that’s what those tinfoil-hat wearing QAnons think. Crazy, right?
Despite Q’s long sabbatical, those scummy QAnons have been waging a mis- dis- and mal- information war on our democracy!! They’re trying to make everyone listen to information that hasn’t been approved of by the authoritative sources - those employed by the six corporations that own all media! It’s very dangerous!
During Q’s 14+ month absence, QAnons got very angry, just because they think that these same evil, corrupt leaders actually stole an election! Yes, they control everything and tell us what to think while tracking everything we do, but there is no evidence that they stole an election! These are baseless claims, a conspiracy theory, the Big Lie. It’s so obvious. You don’t even need to look! Examining an election is a threat to our democracy. Besides, no one would be evil and conniving and corrupt enough to steal an election and if it happened, the television would tell us. Therefore, it didn’t happen.
Those dastardly QAnons sieged the Capitol(!) with a Very Violent Insurrection(!) that threatened to tear down our democracy(!) and they did it because of white privilege(!) and they are misogynists(!) and Science Deniers(!)
They began going to school board meetings, maskless(!) to show they’re part of the cult(!), just because their kids happen to go to a school where they’re being trained in professional racism or where being raped by a boy in the girls’ room gets covered up because the boy was wearing a skirt.
Those QAnon terrorists! (I know, rape sounds scary, but everyone knows it’s transphobic to #metoo someone who might have gender dysphoria.)
Those delusional QAnons are anti-mask(!), which killed everyone’s grandma. They were anti-mask even before the TV told us masks weren’t necessary anymore. They’re anti-vax(!) and they were anti-vax(!) even before the TV told us that the ‘vaccines’ don’t work… and we still have to wear masks… and sorry about the myocarditis/AIDS/cancer thing.
The Science said covid must be cured by “the vaccine”, which would only protect anyone if everyone took it. By “protect”, they initially meant people could not become infected with covid. When The Science changed, “protect” came to mean the shot would prevent serious illness and death… from a disease that does not cause death for 99.9% of people who become infected.
Those silly QAnons keep saying, “My body, my choice”, but everyone knows that’s the pro-choice motto. It’s actually disgusting that the QAnons are saying it when they’re the ones killing other people, not the women getting abortions. Duh.
Everything bad is Trump, as Trump is the source of everything bad. Everything bad is QAnon, as QAnon is the source of everything bad. Everything bad is ‘Trump supporters’, as Trump supporters are the source of everything bad.
This is the scapegoating of every world citizen who is not on board with the Global Communist Agenda.
Did the QAnons cause the modern-day slave trade at the Southern border? How? Did they divert the attention of our public servants to the domestic terrorism the QAnon parents were committing?
QAnons drove 18-wheelers to overthrow Canada’s government, who they’re told does the bidding of those evil, corrupt leaders of the world. It’s a conspiracy theory! The QAnons are ready to believe something so absurd because they realized that Justin Trudeau is quite obviously Fidel Castro’s bastard son and Chrystia Freeland, Trudeau’s Deputy PM, is the granddaughter of a real-life Nazi.
Side note: Canadian QAnons? How many parts of the media story break down when a person grasps the inherent contradiction in that? The last thought a deranged Biden voters want to have before his brain breaks is: “There are Q followers in other countries? They must be racist, white Trump supporters too!”
Trudeau’s and Freeland’s bloodlines aren’t their fault! They can’t be blamed for what their families did! They are both capable young leaders who support China’s very efficient society, the LGBTQIA+++ agenda, and forcing their people to do whatever they’re told. Nothing can get in the way of saving the Earth from the Sun.
Another side note: Remember when the global communists focused on reducing pollution by canceling plastic straws? Was this because they noticed number of plastic drinking straws they themselves waste at fancy restaurants and on their private jet trips? They tried to cancel plastic straws. They believed it would make a real difference. Soon after, they began buying billions of disposable masks that don’t protect them from covid and take longer than straws to biodegrade after they end up in the ocean. They want to change the world because they find their own wastefulness to be offensive. They believe that to solve the problem of their own personal wastefulness, everyone needs to adjust, because everyone else must waste the same amount as they do. To absolve themselves of responsibility, they tout the importance of speaking out against straws to show everyone they’re very good people.
Since the last Q post, those rotten QAnons have committed sooo many mass shootings, especially those that social media blamed on white supremacists and ‘probably Trump supporters’ before finding out the shooters were immigrants or Arabs. Can you believe it? The QAnons recruited immigrants and Arabs to do their bidding! Those racist Islamophobes!
Those unhinged QAnons failed to support the mostly peaceful™ race-rioters throughout the summer of 2020, just because they were threatening homes, looting businesses, desecrating monuments, and trying to burn down government buildings. Those dastardly QAnons just didn’t care that the mostly peaceful™ rioters were actually solving racism with their antiracism. (Antiracism is like racism, except the person doing the racism is good instead of bad.)
Those villainous QAnons are not properly supporting Ukraine while our democracy is being attacked around the world. They’re defending Putin just because they think he is taking out US bioweapons labs near Russia’s border and dismantling a hotbed of corruption and actual Nazism that happens to involve the man currently pretending to be president of the United States of America… and many of his friends.
And that is not happening. If it was, the news would tell us. You know it’s not happening because the US Embassy removed all record of those bio-weapons labs from their site. You can’t prove anything now, right? The QAnons are so powerful at hypnotizing the public with true information that the Embassy was forced to remove legitimate documents from their website to protect innocent Americans from being exposed to the conspiracy theory those documents prove! Those QAnons are so tricky and clever in their sloth and stupidity! The worst, I tell you!
QAnons, destroying the world with their conspiratorial machinations, are doing it all because they just cannot get over the fact that their hero, their savior of the world, Donald Trump, didn’t get re-elected. The QAnons just can’t accept that so many people hate them and their hero because that’s how clueless they are about the rest of the world - so uncultured!
Everybody knows that Donald Trump was so hated, he could never win, regardless of whether or not he received 12 million more votes than he did in 2016. Trump’s cult got 20% bigger, sure, but 81 million real, legal, American voters everywhere turned out (almost entirely via mail or Zuckerberg dropbox) to vote for the one man with the savvy and guile to take down the vast evil empire of Donald Trump and the QAnons before they seized all the power in the world.
Joe Biden, from his basement, was this man. If you think that’s not true, you ain’t black.
From his basement, the kind, decent, affable, straight-shootin’ Joe Biden, Father of Crackheads, Sniffer of Kids, He Who Will Put Y’all Back in Chains, secured himself 81 million real, legal, American votes. According to the television, enough votes came in over the days following the election that Joe Biden was eventually called the president.
A statement from the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency said the election was “safe and secure”. Bill Barr said he hadn’t (yet) seen evidence of fraud to materially change the outcome.
Some of the courts dismissed the election fraud cases on procedural grounds, without an examination of evidence, but it’s claimed that means there was no evidence. The courts are always right, except when white cops are on the stand. Then the courts are always wrong. Plus, even Republicans in various places said Trump lost, which means it’s true. Those good Republicans would never lie to the American people, not with our democracy on the line. That’s why they stood with Democrats. They, too, knew how important it was that no one ever be allowed to carefully examine election results.
Did courts in Wisconsin and Pennsylvania rule their 2020 elections unconstitutional? Yes, but the decisions will be appealed and the television hasn’t told Biden voters yet, so no. Did the Arizona audit show massive evidence of fraud and illegality? Yes, but the television says Biden actually won by extra, so no. Have state legislators presented resolutions to decertify elections in multiple states?
Yes, but Experts say it’s not possible, so no. Did the Speaker of Wisconsin’s House say there was evidence of widespread fraud? Yes, but he also said nothing can be done about it, so no. And what’s with the Pillow Man?
Election fraud is impossible. Even if it’s possible, it could never be so widespread that the most popular president of all time, Joe Biden, actually lost. Therefore, it did not happen.
Suck it up, you sore loser, you QAnon crank.
You can tell the QAnons are in a cult because their leader, Q, disappeared without warning and the followers just kept researching new subjects and sharing what they found as if Q was still leading them! You can tell they’re in a cult because they’re constantly discussing different beliefs when they could simply just Listen to the Experts™ and Follow the Science™. QAnons gain power within the cult by trying to create and spread the craziest disinformation. They won’t change their beliefs even after their families and friends reject them for not believing the right things.
Hey QAnon crazies, take the hint! Say what we tell you to say and we’ll go easy on you! The more you QAnons keep infecting everyone with open-sourced information and logical reasoning, the more you force us to censor you!
And so it goes with those loony QAnon simpletons. They think they’re so smart but they don’t even know the name of the last Bachelor and they don’t realize that Alec Baldwin deserves a freebie murder because of how good his Trump impression was! Those dullards.
The media has done truly admirable work by finding the influence of QAnon in everything that’s destroying our democracy, and thank goodness. It’s good to know who the bad people are. It turns out, a bunch of mostly middle-class and working-class people all across the world are responsible for how bad everything is. They have virtually no power whatsoever to implement their radical ideas, but they make it more difficult for the smart, powerful, virtuous people to fix everything with their newer, better ideas. QAnons ruin everything!
If the QAnons would just shut up, George Soros, Bill Gates, Anthony Fauci, Barack Obama, the Chinese Communist Party, and the Rockefeller Foundation would fix everything for us! After two years of Netflix and UberEats, the world needs a Reset, and it might as well be Great! Luckily, the world’s most powerful people, entities, and governments are partners of the World Economic Forum, so it’s easy for them to coordinate their activities and get on the same page before it’s too late to save us.
To move forward, we must silence those QAnons forever - whatever it takes. We could then (finally!) be set on the right course by Klaus Schwab, a comic-book villain so cartoonishly evil that he makes people who use Mark Zuckerberg’s Metaverse as an outlet for child predation look like upstanding citizens in comparison, at least to the people who supported Ketanji Brown Jackson for the Supreme Court.
But, you see, it’s impossible for anyone to be so obviously evil and so proud of it. Therefore, because Klaus Schwab shares his vision for the world so publicly, he is not evil at all. He’s good, like he says.
It’s homophobic to call Klaus Schwab a Satanist, whether or not Klaus Schwab is gay.
Leave him alone and let him work, QAnons. He’s trying to save the planet from the sun. For anyone to survive, we must be sure everyone is injected with magic healing potion. Experts say it’s working. Things would be even better if conspiracy theorists weren’t holding humanity back.
Part 2 Coming Soon
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